Will I ever learn?

Sometimes things just don’t work out as planned. On the teleseminar last week, just as I was on a roll, I got dropped. Well thankfully my colleagues picked up the reigns and I was able to jump back in right where I left off. No biggy. BUT this past weekend when I had to cancel my fire circle event ….I was sooooooo upset. It wasn’t my fault. I had no control over the 80% rain forecast. But when it didn’t rain a drop till late evening, I felt horrible. I ruined the plans of many, I didn’t set up a good communication system if we did have to cancel and I should have, could have done anything , something, to have planned better. Whoa, massive mind breakdown!!! Well, I saw it. I saw my inability to just let go. My mind didn’t want to disappoint people. That voice in my head felt overly responsible and wasn’t very kind to me. Once again I did my best to see what I needed to do to quiet that crazy voice. I started with what did it want for me? What could I learn? How can I be better next time? And how can I have more compassion for myself. Jeez, it wasn’t even my fault. Darn weather guys!
Well I am devising a new plan so next time it is much easier to communicate a cancelation. AND I will also have a backup plan of some sort. In fact some of us ended up at a local restaurant listening to some live music.
I am still learning. I am grateful I can hear the voice, see the purpose of it and move through the mind drama faster now than years ago. Wasn’t fast enough this time but hey, I am still human!!!
Oh, and when it did downpour, I laughed so hard that I did indeed make the right call. Now to not have the hours of torture before. Oy!!!

One thought on “Will I ever learn?

  1. Argh! I know the angst of cancelling events… it’s truly heart-wrenching as we’re going through it – questioning ourselves, thinking about everyone involved, the impact, what it means, and of course the ego jumps in to beat us up a bit more. If we could only remember and know as we’re going through it that everything happens for the highest and best good of all, in perfect timing and divine order… if only.

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