Hello Soul Sister love seeker amazing woman!
Maybe you are newly single, or maybe you have been out in the dating world for a while trying to meet someone online…but, at some stage in the dating process, there will come a time when the only button on your profile you’ll want to click on is DELETE.
But, how do you know it’s time to give up?
At first, it’s exciting, right? You spend hours getting your online profile set up. You feel ready to shine the spotlight on everything you have to offer the right guy….pouring your hopes, dreams, and desires into what you think represents the “real” you. Agonizing over what pictures to upload. And, with one final click! You did it! BOOM! You are out there for the world to see!
Now, at least if Mr. Wonderful is out there you’ll be easy for him to find!
Then it begins….bing…bing…bing…bing…You’ve got mail! A LOT of mail.
And, with hope mixed with trepidation you open the first message and think,
“Oh dear, somebody must have stolen his clothes.”
Next message. He spelled “there” wrong.
Next…OMG, people still date at 100 years old?
Next message. Uh…his girlfriend’s scrunchy is in his shower-selfie along with a third nipple?
Suddenly, you realize that Mr.Wonderful is going to be a lot harder to find than you thought. Your heart sinks, your hope wanes and all you can think is,
“This really isn’t fun anymore.”
Now, to be fair, there are still great guys out there! There are great apps to help you find those great guys. There are tips and tools to navigate online, as well as how to be successful on dates and how to streamline those dates so that you’re not wasting your time.
So, why should you stop dating?
There is one reason. It’s not working for you!
If you just thought, “What do you mean? God, It’s not working for me?!?! What does that mean?” Don’t worry! I am not telling you to give up on love. But, I am saying there are seasons in our life, just like there are seasons in our dating.
And, if every time you go online, you are getting bitter and thinking,
Oh, this is so hard. This is driving me nuts.
Oh my God, I’m not connecting with the right guys.
Then, this can only mean one thing! DATING BURNOUT.
And, THAT is when you stop dating and hit the RESET button.
It’s about coming home to you and really doing a reset. To nourish yourself. To build up your confidence. To get clear about what’s going on and taking sacred time to regroup. Maybe you need to take a step back and look at different parts of yourself from a distance because when you are caught up in a painful or challenging emotional state, it’s hard to have a clear perspective.
When you take a break from dating, you give yourself permission to work on yourself. To fall in love with yourself. And, to DATE YOURSELF.
Take time to come home to what matters. YOU! Invite yourself for a beautiful dinner. Rediscover and reconnect to yourself with intention. Treat yourself to something nice.
Then once you feel better, more grounded, and ready to go again, you’ll be able to look at your profile with new eyes.
Is it representing your true self?
Are you speaking from a place of authenticity and painting a picture of who you are and what you’re looking for in a relationship?
Have you put on the new glasses and can clearly see where you’re headed and what you’re desiring?
Are you feeling refreshed?
Now, THAT’S the way to date, baby! 🙂
When you are coming from a place of fear or dread, that will manifest through your words and energy. If you are sending out the wrong kind of energy like…
I don’t want to be alone
I’m scared that I’m going to be alone forever.
I’m never going to meet anyone and the clock is ticking!
Then THAT is exactly what you are going to attract!
At the end of the day, dating should be fun. You are trying to meet somebody new, who might be the person that you spend the rest of your life with. Or, you might be meeting someone with who you have great sex. Or, maybe you just might meet a great new friend and suddenly there is someone to go out to dinner with and go to the movies with!
So, when dating is not working for you STOP DOING IT.
Just take a little break…take good care of yourself and clear out the negative beliefs, the fears, and the “something’s wrong with me” kind of thinking. That way when you do decide to date someone, you will be coming from a place of fullness and richness and excitement.
There’s a saying I like. “A rising tide lifts all boats.” And, in this sacred sisterhood, may we continue to support each other and lift each other up.
PS. SAVE THE DATE:
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Join us in a sacred sisterhood of midlife love seekers in the free private Facebook group,
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