This will be a bit of a well-thought out rant and I hope you get A LOT from it cause it’s uber important.
People are hurting. This time of year especially, people are feeling so much.
I too am hurting.
As you may know, my son left my life over 6 years ago. He is doing well BUT he has chosen to step away from our relationship and is gone completely. I have not seen or spoken to him. It’s a long story and there is nothing I can do to change it sadly.
And it is sad….and frankly, the story doesn’t matter.
What matters is I hurt. Often. My son is gone from my life and I feel a terrible loss. I see people planning for their holiday parties and I feel the loneliness. I have the memories of my sweet child who I did everything I could to make it a magical time. The memories now are bitter-sweet.
There is nothing truly you can say that will ease my pain and that is why I am writing this today because I know I am not the only one feeling sadness this time of year. I bet there are people you know, maybe you, that have experienced great loss in their life.
People have lost loved ones or are just feeling lonely and (rant part)no spiritual “all is in divine order” mumbo jumbo is gonna make someone who is suffering feel better. In fact it can make them feel worse because they are not being heard the way they need to be heard. They are not being cared for the way they need to be cared for.
So what do you do when you see someone hurting? Don’t tell them to write a gratitude list. Don’t tell them to meditate more. Don’t try to fix them. Lead from your heart, not your head.
I mean, that’s all great stuff but if someone’s really in pain, that’s not what they wanna hear. It’s not what they need. And if you don’t know what they need, ask them. And if you don’t know what to say, tell them that.
People in pain need to know it’s ok to feel their pain. They need your compassionate heart. And if it’s you that is hurting, let others know you need their support. Ask for the hugs, or ask for an ear. Ask for silence.
I know you mean well and your words might even be the truth, but when someone is in pain and they are sharing their pain with you, I offer to you that you holding a non-judgmental place for them withyour heart open is the greatest gift you can give them.
In this time of gift giving, give the gift of love. May your present be giving them your presence.
Here is a Facebook live I did with a vulnerable share on the topic.
May this holiday season be one of great connection and joy for you. If you are struggling, allow yourself the gift of feeling what is true for you. Don’t squash it. Don’t hide it. Feel it. Own it. Love yourself and allow others to love you back.
Many blessings to you, Junie