Recently I was presented with a very difficult, heart-wrenching experience. One I choose not to share the specifics to protect some other people’s privacy, otherwise I would fully disclose the details. It means a lot to me to offer my journey and truth in hopes of helping others’ that may be feeling or experiencing the same life challenges.
So when this very emotional challenging thing happened, it hit me hard. I had my human experience, allowed it to flow, allowed myself to feel the fear, the loss, the anger… and then…. My tools kick in thank goodness. My spiritual/life lesson tools. I stopped and asked myself some questions. If life happens FOR me and not TO me, what is life trying to teach me? Is there a pattern in my life that keeps showing up? What am I being given to learn? What don’t I see? When something challenging comes my way and I feel upset, I sometimes get pulled into the emotion. Not a bad thing. Only not great if I stay there stuck! And so I then step back and look for the miracles of healing. The blessings of the journey. NOT ALWAYS EASY!!! LOL! But I know I am here to grow and unless I ask good questions that can guide me, I stay stuck in the story and that is not a place I want to stay. AND the lessons seem more painful and harder as time goes on and I believe that it is because I have been given the opportunity to learn it previously but gosh darn it, I still don’t have it in my gut. Is NOW a good time to learn and release it? Oh Yeah!
Today’s lesson is about surrender. I must surrender to that which I have no control. I have done my best, truly, and I must now allow spirit to take over the show. Big lesson for sure. I am one that turns over every possible rock to find the perfect answer to the issues at hand. Some things don’t have a perfect answer or the perfect way of doing it. and perfect? Might have to do some thinking on that word for sure! Trusting that all is in divine order can be scary for me because there is a part of me that doesn’t trust. I am working on it. Again, there is just so much I can do. Boy, I get frustrated with limitations and yet it is in the limitations that I can learn my boundaries and fly freely within the boundaries. And there comes a point I must find a healthy balance.
My fear is if I surrender, I might have stopped too soon before I found the perfect solution and all will be a mess. And of course things are a mess anyway because I am trying so hard to move an unmoveable obstacle. Not on my time, Spirit’s time. Yes….
Today I allow Spirit to run the show. In this moment I breathe in the joy of the precious moment and I breathe out fear of the unknown. I know this moment and since this is truly the only moment that is here, I say Hello to NOW and I release control over the past and future.