Have you ever been in love, thrilled to have found your person, on cloud nine, only to be slammed with a flock of birds that pushed you off course?
And you wonder, WTF? I didn’t see it coming!!!
That’s sort of what happened. My love and I have been enjoying the magic of our new adventure and it has been off-the-charts sweeeeet.
Who would think so quickly 2 months in we’d hit a speed bump and have to feel some discomfort.
Well that’s what happens in relationships, right? Things can pop up when we least expect it.
The question is, what to do when this happens…
Here is a short Facebook Live where I share the “should I stay or should I go” dilemma.
Let me know what you think…
I was uncomfortable. It felt hard and a part of me wanted to run for the hills but I didn’t. I’ll tell you why in a moment.
I see it all the time – people bolting way too soon.
OR even worse, people stay way too long and don’t address the elephant(s) in the room. They sweep their discomfort or fears or anger under the rug and then it comes out of left field.
People then say things they wish they didn’t because now, it’s a pressure cooker erupting.
Has this happened to you? It certainly did for me when I was married
I would hold back my truth and then I’d blow up. It sucked.
It doesn’t have to be like this. There are ways to avoid the explosive drama and have a much more rewarding union – if you get real.
What if you could actually address your concerns and share your feelings sooner than later? In fact that is the way to build a strong foundation in a relationship if you truly want it to last.
At first it can feel very scary. Let’s face it, sharing our “stuff” feels vulnerable.
→ What will they think?
→ Will they judge me?
→ Will it come back to bite me?
All concerns that your Risk Manager is tracking for sure.
I chose to open my heart. I stepped in and shared my truth. AND he shared too. We both listened. We did get a bit heated. We got triggered and we stayed the course coming out on the other side.
Why did we address our ickyness so soon out the gate?
We are committed to building a strong foundation for a magnificent, healthy relationship. We are building a safe container for the shit that can pop up. Cause it will…
It was quite brilliant actually AND scary.
If there are issues, they’re not going away. They must be dealt with or the cost will be high.
❤️ Take a breath
❤️ Be honest.
❤️ Share with your partner if your toes get stepped on.
❤️ Do your best to not point fingers and play the blame game. Come from your heart.
Why wait months to tell them that when they do X or say Y it triggers you?
This is true intimacy. This is letting your beloved in!
New relationships are under construction. You don’t know each other. You’re getting to know the lay of the land. Wouldn’t you want to see how your new love respond’s when you get vulnerable?
Are they present? Are they respectful?
☀️ Take the risk…
🌼 Stand in the fire…
🌺 Share your truth…
FYI, September 4th I am launching my podcast: Midlife Love Out Loud: Your One Stop Love Shop and I have a whole bunch of amazing guests that speak about powerful relationship tools.
Wanna help me spread the word about it?
It will only take a few minutes to help me let the world know it’s live and available. Go here to join my launch team
You will be notified on September 4th how you can support the new podcast.
AND you will learn so much from my wise experts. Thanks in advance!
May your bolting days be behind you and may you find the courage to step toward your beloved in times of challenge. It is so worth it.
Much love to you,