I’m not perfect. Ok, you probably knew that, but did you know… I can sometimes go overboard and eat one too many chocolate chip cookies and fear I will go back to 200 pounds? THEN I hate myself and feel the old “you’re not good enough” thoughts come flooding back? OR sometimes I feel very alone and wonder, “Do I even matter? Does anyone know I am even on this planet?” OR I feel inadequate – just because!
Yep, it happens. I slip and fall. I have moments of doubt, questioning my light; moments of acting out with sugar, moments of inner dialogue that has me feel like shit. I still have visits from my unevolved Inner Critic who creates knots in my stomach and tells me mean-spirited messages like I am not ok the way I am.
BUT…they are moments. HOLY SHIT, just moments. It used to be days, weeks, months and even years of being in the black hole of despair. There were years of going up and down the scale 40-50 pounds at a time. Many years of feeling hopeless, anxious and terrified that I would never be able to relax, experience joy and just be me feeling comfortable in my own skin.
Yes, things have changed. The big monster voices in my head are gone and the long stretches of painful living are history.
A client recently asked me, “Can you make my horrible, critical voices in my head disappear? I want them out!”
I said, I wish.
I know that wasn’t what she wanted to hear – but then I told her what was possible. I shared how things are different now for me and the many people I have had the privilege of sharing shadow work® with through the years.
I told her (and now you) the gremlins in your head can quiet down. The long stretches of time feeling deflated, lost, and paralyzed can disappear. Empowering new voices will appear and you can feel a joy you never thought was possible. You can feel confident, alive and able to leap tall buildings! A feeling of worthiness and an I-can-do-it feeling can be your new normal, every day way of being.
It’s a journey. Though transformation can happen in a heartbeat, there are layers. My belief is as long as you are embodied, the voices can still lurk and show up. We are human and it’s just how we are wired, but we have a choice how we are wired. We really do! For those courageous enough to stay awake, and ask the big questions, and reach out for support, long-lasting transformation is possible.
The voices become tiny. What used to be a roaring lion in between my ears, now appears like a tiny Chihuahua nipping at my ankles. I can gently push the messages away and stand strongly in what I know is my truth.
Healing is possible. You are a light and you can shine your light! The world needs you. You just might need to update your human software.
I want you to know, you are not alone. Sometimes things can feel heavy and life can feel hard. You don’t have to go it alone. Reach out to friends, to your family, to me. Continue to dream about the life your soul craves for and take some actions to move you forward. It is when you do not experience movement you will experience the pain. Keep moving. Make some plans. Reach out for guidance.
You have been blessed with your life and my hope for you is you continue to embrace each day as the gift it is, beaming your truest self for all of us to see.
From my heart to yours, Junie
PS: If you know someone else who might enjoy this spiritual public service announcement, send it forward.